So You Want To be a Princess

Meg Cabot's book "Princess Lessons" actually taught me a lot about style, confidence, and achieving my goals.

Jan 21, 2025

It’s 2005. I’m in fifth grade. It’s the best time of the year: the Scholastic Book Fair has popped up in my library. I see a book by Meg Cabot called Princess Lessons: A Princess Diaries Book. Of course, I buy it. I had seen how confident Mia became in the movie and maybe this book would give me some actionable advice.

What does it mean to be a princess? Watching The Princess Diaries was an eye-opening experience. All of a sudden, she exuded princess energy. Was the key to princessdom really straightening my hair? Or was there more to it? I needed to know.

I wish I still had that original copy but I don’t know where it is. I had to pick up a copy from eBay last month to see if the book was still as good as I remembered.

Me? A…a…princess?

The book is from the perspective of Mia and her royal advisors on these important topics: Beauty, Etiquette, Fashion, Character, and Education. Let the princess lessons begin.

On beauty

I was excited to dive into the Beauty chapter when I first read this book. I loved dressing up as a kid but as a preteen, I was scared to wear makeup, paint my nails, or try a new hairstyle. Fun fact: I wore my hair in a low ponytail every single day from the ages of 8 to 14 because I was too scared to let my hair down.

The book gets straight into beauty advice. Paolo urges you to get rid of unwanted body hair, but Mia tells you it’s a personal choice. He also says to not wear dark lipstick or bright eyeshadow. Some of his advice is subjective, but overall, he gives solid, timeless advice on looking and feeling your best. And he even clarified that it was not necessary to straighten my hair. Turns out, princesses could have any type of hair—as long as it was clean.

His approach to beauty was simple; it made it seem more attainable.

Paolo even told me what I needed to have in my purse:

Lipstick or gloss, pressed powder company, concealer, eye pencil — and cab fare, breathmints, emergency tiara, and hairbrush

I was in Texas—and only 10 years old—so the cab fare would not be necessary, but I made a mental note to myself in case I ever did end up in New York City. (Spoiler: I did, 12 years later.)

On etiquette

Aside from learning about manners and princess posture, I also learned how to “properly” dine. The book gave me tips on eating politely (waiting until the hostess sits down) and formal table setting (I was only familiar with using either a fork or my tortilla as a utensil).

I had ever experienced a “fancy” dinner party like in the movies; I had no idea there were such things as salad forks, meat forks, meat knives, fish knives, butter knives, soup spoons, and so forth. I was amazed, to say the least. I didn’t know when I’d find myself at such a dinner, but I took notes. (I eventually would at the age of 21 at a fancy reception for my internship program).

One of my favorite sections of the etiquette chapter was on entertaining. I dreamed of making cute invitations and inviting my friends to my future home one day. I learned the rules of hosting, of arriving at parties on time, of introducing your party guests to one another, of sending handwritten thank you notes. I was ready.

On fashion

I would credit this book as being my first real introduction to fashion education and building a wardrobe. Sebastiano, a well-known Genovian fashion designer, encourages you to shop at outlets for deals and lays out the ideal wardrobe. It held up. A few good pairs of jeans, different types of shoes, a good coat, socks of any color, a pair of slacks—this is great to keep in mind, even now. You don’t need much; you just need a few great pieces.

He even goes on to recommend the importance of having good suits in different colors for “luncheons, teas, meetings of state, etc.,” as well as the importance of having a raincoat and “loafers, preferably hand sewn, and from Italy.” Incredible advice.

On character

I learned a lot about social skills from this book. It gave me advice on making new friends, movie theater etiquette, emailing 101, and finding ways to make the world a better place, like walking, recycling, and voting for political candidates who cared about the environment. I was far from voting, but I swore to myself I wouldn’t forget these tips.

On education

The book even covers the importance of education and extracurricular ideas. It talked about how crucial it was for princesses to know about economic policy, public policy, and law. It also encouraged doing extracurricular activities so that I could get into college. I had been dreaming about going to college ever since I was little and because no one in my family had ever done it, I took this advice to heart and ended up doing as many extracurricular activities as I could later on in high school.

What I thought was going to be just trivial advice ended up being life-changing—I just didn’t fully realize it at the time. Being a princess is a state of mind. To be a princess is to feel like your most confident self. And at that age, I needed to know the future I wanted for myself was possible. This little pink book unassumingly had the advice and words of encouragement I was looking for that no one else could give me.

For the last 15 years or so, images from this book would always randomly pop into my head. When I reread it, I was immediately transported to elementary school again. I read every line and it all came rushing back to me. It was exactly like I remembered it. And I know it’s just a little book on how to be a princess, but maybe we all just need to reread the books we loved as kids.

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